Life Sure Isn’t for Sissies
My Best Failures and The Rebrand of Me
May 2, 2022
Summer Surprises Revealed
July 5, 2022
I have been sitting through more business meetings lately where participants are frustrated because they are not being taken seriously. Or heard. As a result, they are agitated.
For example, in the first week of May alone I witnessed the same point being made by the same person in three different business meetings. By the third meeting, attendees acknowledged the point was a good idea that might work in an ordinary situation, but these were unusual circumstances.
As a result, the idea was eventually squashed. For the record, I sent my idea to the group in a separate email and my idea was never even acknowledged. There you go.
I haven’t given up. However, the 2022 version of Diane M. Simard has learned to better identify situations/causes/groups where I have impact. Those situations where I don’t have impact? I am separating myself. Not giving up, just focusing my energies in places where I am heard. And taken seriously. And respected.
A couple years ago, I heard this quote from—of all people—Kris Jenner. For the record, I don’t follow the Kardashian family antics. Kris Jenner was being interviewed for a news show about her business philosophies, and she said this: “If somebody says no, you’re asking the wrong person.”
My initial reaction was, “How selfish!” Then I calmed down and pondered the poignant honesty of her words.
Perspective. How refreshing it has become for me to observe and process but not get spun up over someone else’s misery. Thank you, life experiences, the Wall Street Journal, and middle age for bringing me clarity and wisdom.
Let the Culling Commence
Rene and I are inching dangerously close to in-person social event overload now that things appear to be back open for business, at least for now. Unfortunately, some like me actually took on MORE during Covid because, well, I wasn’t needing to attend so many social events, so I had extra time to do more stuff.
As a result of social event overload, I recently decided to make some lifestyle changes. And here they are:
No veggie garden this summer. Given what we spent on watering, seeds, and plants, the pathetically sparse amount of green beans and squash I harvested from last summer’s garden likely cost ten times what they would have cost had I purchased them at the grocery store or farmer’s market.
Bonus: Not having a garden will give me about five extra hours per week.
Basement summer staycation. Thanks to the high cost of electricity for air conditioning, I think I’ve got Rene talked into moving to the basement for the summer. Not just sleeping in the guest bedroom in the basement (which we do every summer), but actually living in the basement and keeping the upstairs toasty. If we pull it off, it will only be because I no longer have to deal with menopause-related hot flashes and can actually function in a room warmer than 75 degrees.
Bonus: Our neighbors just put in a pool…
Cut back my work hours. I volunteered to go to half-time at Bye Aerospace, where I have worked for nearly 14 years. We are FAA-certifying an electric airplane, a process that requires patience. Lots and lots of patience.
Bonus: On Tuesdays and Thursdays I now get to focus on figuring out what I want to be when I grow up.
Speed-round: Random Thoughts and Updates
- Psycho-oncology statistic: Thank you to dear friend and Wellness PR & Media Specialist dynamo, Jen Marnowski, for emailing this article about recent research on the impact of prostate cancer on mental health. Summary: More than a third of men with newly diagnosed prostate cancer had at least one mental health issue, which had a strong association with prior psychological well-being.
- Debate topic for your next cocktail party: In-person events are only as good as their parking experiences (assuming you have to drive). Agree? Disagree?
- Mess-what? This year marks 25 years since my husband, Rene, achieved the rank of Chief Master Sergeant in the U.S. Air Force. He retired from the Air Force in 2006, but on May 12 was invited by the host wing Command Chief at Buckley Space Force Base to wear his “mess dress” uniform and participate in the induction ceremony to recognize the newly promoted Air Force Chiefs. For those who might be wondering what in the world is mess dress, it is the military uniform worn to formal or semi-formal events—similar to black-tie attire for civilians.
Marlboro Man’s still got it! For new followers, Marlboro Man is my favorite term of endearment for Rene. The first time I referred to him as Marlboro Man was in my book, The Unlikely Gift of Breast Cancer. Needless to say, the term stuck.
- Nebraska BFF visits: Long-time followers will hopefully remember my dear friend, Colleen (Schauer) Hansen, who stepped in to share her thoughts in this blog post from back in 2019. Well, Colleen and her son, Lance, stayed overnight with us on May 23, Day 1 of their cross-country drive from central Nebraska to Phoenix for a high school graduation. We had so much fun laughing and reminiscing! Colleen farms with her husband in central Nebraska, where I grew up. A few days before that, we had dinner with another Nebraska friend and my high school classmate, Wendy Johnson, who pinch-hit for me with this post during the infamous summer of Covid lockdown. By the way, she is now Major General Wendy K. Johnson. Both of these women have a heart of gold and I absolutely treasure our friendships.
- Homework assignment: This is a full-blown embarrassment, but I have been sending out monthly columns for nearly four years and I don’t have a name for this blog or newsletter or monthly rant or whatever it should be called. On my website, these writings are called “Diane’s Blog,” which suits me fine, but that’s lame—similar to someone naming their dog, “Dog.” Seriously, since I’m trying to step things up a notch, I would appreciate your input.
Here are some title ideas I came up with:- Perfect Imperfections
- Offbeat Observations
- Mid-life Cheer
- Chapter 2
- Cheer Here
- Middle-age Moxie
- Candid Commentary
Please reach out through the contact page. Thank you!
- Homework assignment: This is a full-blown embarrassment, but I have been sending out monthly columns for nearly four years and I don’t have a name for this blog or newsletter or monthly rant or whatever it should be called. On my website, these writings are called “Diane’s Blog,” which suits me fine, but that’s lame—similar to someone naming their dog, “Dog.” Seriously, since I’m trying to step things up a notch, I would appreciate your input.
Shout-out to the Resilient Businesswomen of Superior, Colorado
I close this month with a thank you to the Superior Chamber of Commerce for inviting me to speak at their Women in Business luncheon on May 12. The Chamber is operating out of temporary space in a strip mall because their office sustained smoke damage in the Marshall Fire on New Year’s Eve that destroyed or damaged over 400 homes in Superior, southeast of Boulder.
My remarks were about the importance of differentiating yourself in business and how my cancer experience launched me on a mission to bring attention to the seriousness of psychological trauma, no matter the source. Afterward, we had a heartwarming dialogue about how many in the audience had experienced personal losses due to cancer and how they had worked through, or were continuing to process, their grief.
On the hour-long drive home, I teared up several times thinking about the resilience of the human spirit—of our ability to forgive, rebuild, heal, and move on.
Yet somehow the haunting memories created by cancer grief seem permanent.
I promise to keep caring and sharing and questioning and admitting I don’t have many answers when it comes to the mysteries of cancer. But I vow to keep applying pressure to those in our healthcare systems and government organizations who do have the ability to improve how we identify, treat, and care for the whole body—which, even after all this time, STILL includes the brain.
There are no sissies here. That much I know.
Affections and blessings,
